The Artist

Well, you've probably noticed I haven't updated my decade movies list in a few days. Truthfully I've been pretty preoccupied with other things and haven't found a lot of time to write multiple paragraph entries (as I'm doing for the final 10). I'll try and find time to catch up over the next couple days so I can finish the list before the New Year hits, but for now you'll have to settle for some of my thoughts.....

Recently I came across this song by a band called The Hush Sound. Having the privilege of knowing and working with many artists from many disciplines, I can very much relate to the lyrics. While I've never been in a serious relationship with an artist, these words sum up why I don't know if I ever could. I've always had a weakness for female artists, but for a lot of reasons--many expressed perfectly in the song--I've also had an aversion to them.

"The Artist" paints both sides: why artists are so attractive and why it would certainly be destructive to be intimately involved with one. Of course, this is all generalization, but I can certainly speak with a good degree of second-hand experience as well as through my friendships with artists. The line "you perceive all of these things I'd never have known" hints at the depth of emotion and personality of an artist: the ability to break down the most mundane of objects and ideas and reveal their stark nakedness ("you find all of your ugly meanings/in the things I find beautiful").

But this is also the problem. The "canvas", or whatever the medium might be (film, still image, stage, writing paper, etc), becomes the outlet for all of these perceptions and emotions and deep thoughts and desires and pain--sometimes to the point where the canvas becomes their whole world. The stanza that stands out most to me is this: "But your eyes are drawn of charcoal/they're black they're so cold they're so imperfect/because they see a sleeping world/where waking isn't worth it". I can speak to this because I am an artist myself, and I regularly struggle with a lot of these points I've mentioned. My deepest ideas and thoughts are expressed through story and film, to the point where I become closed off and hollow; every day is a challenge to keep myself grounded and focused and emotionally healthy.

I don't know if I could bring myself to be in a serious relationship with an artist because I see what I am--even as a very light example of the ideas expressed in this song--and realize that I could not willingly subject myself to such a potentially destructive line of thought.

Then again...I can't stop myself from falling for them. A great risk, surely, but also the possibility of an amazing, unfathomable connection. Perhaps that's what keeps attracting me: to me the challenging relationships are the only one's worth their weight, and in my eye artists are certainly the most challenging--and often the most beautiful.

Really though, all that might be needed is someone there to say, "love will you turn out the lights because we're already home."

Here are the lyrics in full:

"I know that you're an artist
You're the hardest one to deal with
Everything that you conceal
Is revealed on your canvas

You find all of your ugly meanings
In the things I find beautiful
Do you see the fall is coming
Come I'm falling into you

You perceive all of these things I'd never have known
Love will you turn out the lights 'cause we're already home

You painted me in pastels
Colors that don't tell of any boldness
'Cause that's the way you'd love to see me
So delicate so weak so little purpose

But your eyes are drawn of charcoal
They're black they're so cold they're so imperfect
Because they see a sleeping world
Where waking isn't worth it

You perceive all of these things I'd never have known
Love will you turn out the lights 'cause we're already home

How how can you live without your lies
Oh oh love I've had enough of you tonight

All of these things I'd never have known
Love will you turn out the lights 'cause we're already home
You perceive all of these things I'd never have known
Love will you turn out the lights 'cause we're already home."