Hey, an update!

So it's been almost four months since I last updated my blog, even though I've been meaning to for ages--I have four or five entries I've wanted to write but, uh, haven't gotten around to writing...

Anyway, that being said, I now have a good reason to blog again! For those of you who don't know, I'm taking a month-long drive around the United States (quite literally) in August. Starting August 10th, I will drive from Richmond, Virginia to Los Angeles via the southern route, spend a weekend in LA, then drive up the left coast to Seattle, take a left turn, and cut back across the northern part of the country. I plan to arrive back in Boston on September 4th or 5th.

Why am I undertaking this epic journey? And why alone? Well, there are a lot of reasons I could list here, but really it came down to two things:

1. To see if I can actually do it. My life is filled with shit I've started but never completed...plans made but never carried out. I came up with the idea for this trip pretty randomly and spontaneously, but I've dedicated myself to making it happen--and it will. Everything is in motion.

2. And this was the big one for me: Lately I've felt myself falling into this mentality where I rely too much on outside sources in how I make major (and minor) decisions for myself. What I mean by this is that I'm developing too much of a dependence on the presence of people close to me in my life. There is nothing overtly wrong with this, but for me I feel my dependence is reaching an unhealthy point, where major decisions I make are becoming irrationally tilted by my needing to be close the people I'm closest with. I want to simply regain some of my independent mindset and set right my personal balance. Thus, where I drive, I drive alone.

BUT I won't be alone. The plan is to divide half of my nights between camping and staying with friends, relatives, friends of friends, or couch surf (which I've never done before but heard good things about).

This is where you come in. Right now, I need places to stay in certain cities/states. At the moment I've only mapped out my Southern route (the first half of the trip, essentially), but I know generally what cities and states I'll pass through. Here are the following places where I need lodging:

-Two nights in New Orleans
-One night in Austin
-One night in El Paso
-One night in Santa Fe
-Three nights in Los Angeles

As far as the Northern route goes, I'll be passing through the following states/cities, so if you know if anyone I might be able to stay with along that route, let me know: San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Toronto, and New York (not the city though).

Just hit me up on Facebook or email me if you do in fact know someone in these places who might be able to put me up for a night.

On a final night, over the course of the trip I will be keeping a blog which I will update whenever I pass through a major hub and have a few minutes to sit down in a cafe with wi-fi. I'll provide the link on my Facebook page and here so you can follow my progress if you wish.

Thanks all, I'm incredibly psyched for this--keep an eye out for the trip blog!

-Nate

Seal Jubilee

Sorry to keep posting lyrics on the blog, but I was listening to this song on the long walk home from work today and really listened to the lyrics for the first time. I thought they were pretty awesome (even though I have no idea what the song is about) so I thought I'd share them with you...

Seal Jubilee by Bat For Lashes

"The seals, they cried in jubilee
The sharks, they howled along with me
And birds, they flew into the wind
The whale, he roamed the lonely sea

And I dived into you
I dived into you
On this ocean hue
'Cause I dived into you

The lighthouse dog lifted his brow
The crippled trees bent low to growl
And swans, they wrestled with lifetime's grasp
In hopefullness they nestled the past
Teachers and travellers made their mark
They dined and feasted on whale and shark
And so the ocean lost its depths
And boredom rained as the ocean wept

Birds they raised their young for dead
And ladies used feathery pillows for bed
And black snow came and black snow stayed
And froze the ocean out of love
Out of love

I lay quiet, next to you
Transformed a whole
Transformed anew
No longer diving into
But lying quiet next
To you"

County Bounce

Just a quick shout out to my friend Walker for putting me onto G-Side and Jay Electronica, who I mentioned in the last post. Check out his blog "County Bounce" if you dig hip hop and rap (or even if you don't--there's a lot of good shit on there). Dude has one of the best tastes in rap music that I know, and his knowledge of the scene--especially Southern rap--is pretty much unmatched.

If you need some evidence, check out this track by the Alabama rapper, Yelawolf. He's not exactly a household name yet, but just wait--Walker says this guy will be huge, and after seeing him live last week, I believe him.

Showtime

At least from a music standpoint, this month has started in a great way. Starting last Tuesday, I went to three shows in three nights--Yelawolf and Wiz Khalifa at a sold out Middle East, A Sunny Day in Glasgow at Great Scott, and finishing off in a strong way with Vampire Weekend at The Orpheum. A two day lay-over was followed by Serena Maneesh on Sunday (thanks again to Kevin for the tix).

But it won't stop there. My calendar is quickly becoming dominated by upcoming concerts...this is what's on itinerary right now:

Thursday- Cymbals Eat Guitars @ Middle East

Saturday- Ted Leo and the Pharmacists @ Paradise

April 18th- The Thermals @ Middle East

April 22-25th- Weekend road trip to Greensborough, North Carolina to see G-Side (if you're into rap and don't know about this group, download this mix-tape now)

May 3rd- Yeasayer @ Paradise (I will get tickets to this show)

May 11th OR 12th- Dr. Dog @ Paradise (sponsored by WERS)

May 15th- Jay Electronica @ Paradise (check out this song "Exhibit C"...one of the best hip hop tracks of '09)

May 21st- Devon the Dude @ Paradise


Annnd that's just April and May. There's a good chance I won't end up going to all of these shows, but I'm going to damn well try. I don't know if it's the warm weather or just an influx of great shows into Boston over the next few months, but it looks like a whole fucking lot of my nights this Spring are going to be spent destroying my eardrums and dancing and sweating my ass off amongst numerous hipsters, stoners, and black X's.

So psyched.

p.s. in the spirit of the post and for your viewing pleasure...wobblegirl:

No words.

Film Noir

I'm all washed out by the side of the road
Broken bones Matilda left a note and a rose
Saying "Baby honey child, I loved you so long
but you deserve much better than me"

So I'm just burning all around
All the miles in the road
And I'm never going back
And I'm never going home
I've been gone too long
I've been less right than wrong
I've lost so much blood in the falling out

And I lit a fire that wouldn't go out
Until it consumed the walls and roof of this house
Until all I remember was burning away
And all I remember, you're burnin' away

See for 10 long years I've been hustling around
Tryin' to wash the sins and sweat from my brow
Just trying to find a better life for me and my own
Just some rest for these tired working fingers

But nobody never gonna tell you the way
You gotta figure it out boys and suffer the rain
And the fools in the night, and the heat of the day
When all you ever really wanted was for someone to understand

And I lit a fire that wouldn't go out
Until it consumed the walls and roof of this house
Until all I remember was burning away
And all I remember, you're burnin' away
Well don't you take it so hard and baby don't you cry
You cross your hard heart and hope to die
Don't you tell me no more lies, you lied all the time
Don't you tell me no more lies, you lied every night

And you're sugar and spice, and everything nice
You got Monroe hips, your poison lips and knives
And your sugar and spice, and everything nice
You got open wounds in a young boy's pride

And I lit a fire that wouldn't go out
Until it consumed the walls and roof of this house
Until all I remember was burning away
And all that you left me you're burning away
Well don't you take it so hard and baby don't you cry
You cross your hard heart and you hope to die
Don't you tell me no more lies, you lied all the time
Don't you tell me no more lies, you lied every night

Time, time, tickin' away
Time, time, tickin' away
Time, time, tickin' away
Time, time, tickin' away

Tom Waits Series: 1973- Closing Time

Let's get March started off on the right foot, yeah? February was a weird month and I'm ashamed to say my blog was an unfortunate (and unnecessary) casualty. I promised new posts (that weren't being an emo bitch) and I have not delivered. But here's to a fresh start!

First up is an account of Tom Waits' first album, "Closing Time", as you may or may not recall the little experiment I undertook...well, about a month ago. I knew it'd be slow going, but I didn't think I'd be this ADD about listening to (and reporting on) music.

Anyway, I feel as though I have digested "Closing Time" about as much as I can hope to. So what's the verdict for Mr. Waits' first album? Not much. It took me a few weeks of repeatedly coming back and listening to the album to come the the conclusion that...it's just not very good.

Thank god this wasn't my first exposure to Waits or it could have been a while before I gave him a second chance. To put it plainly, there isn't really much evidence--at all--of what makes Tom Waits the Tom Waits people know and love today. I talked to my brother about this, and he made an interesting point that he knew people who have said "Closing Time" was their favorite Tom Waits album.

I find this incredibly fascinating because it's so totally different and indistinguishable from his later work--and I'm not even talking just shit from the past couple decades. The album itself is, well, pretty bland. That isn't to say it's not enjoyable, but there really isn't anything here that might indicate the long transformation to come. "Closing Time" is a poppy, folksy, bluesy debut that just reeks "sap". Honestly, the best word to describe the album is "cheesy".

Those of you who know Tom Waits now know that sentimentality is not really his trademark. But you wouldn't know this from listening to his first singer-songwriterly debut. There are a couple fun, catchy songs--in particular I was attracted to "Old Shoes (& Picture Postcards)"--but in the end it's impossible for me to get past the cheesiness of the lyrics, the simplicity of the writing, and the general blah-ness of the songs. A good example is "I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You"--yes, that's what it's called. This title comprises the chorus of the song, but it ends even worse, with Waits crooning: "And I think that I just fellll in love with you." Really? Really Tom Waits?

Lastly, every time I listen to the album it begins to sink into obscurity at about the mid-way point, and to me this is the death rattle of a very unremarkable album. So all in all, a mediocre affair. It took me a while to realize that if I detached his name from the album it probably wouldn't be something I'd have more than a few days on my iTunes library.

Unfortunately, his next album, "The Heart of Saturday Night", isn't too far from this one.

Thankfully, though, I know what is to come. And from an early listen, if I strain real hard I start to pick out the faint resemblance of some of the brilliance he is known for today. Until next time though! Hopefully the wait won't be as long...cheers to a new month and second chances!

The Hitchhiking Game

I want to relate a passage from a short story I just read recently. The story is by Milan Kundera (it’s in the collection “Laughable Loves” if you’re interested), one of my favorite authors; I can’t think of anyone who better captures the human spirit and mind as it really exists, free of romanticized thoughts and fictionalized, story-book motives. Instead, Kundera writes with a stark nakedness and truth that shows all of the insecurities and imperfections and fears that exist within the human mind (though there is an undeniable “lightness” that inexplicably parallels the unflattering portrayal of human beings).

This is particularly evident in the interaction between the people in his stories, often characterized by jealousy, selfishness, and distrust—among other unfavorable distinctions of the mind—which stem from a disconnect between actual intentions and perceived intentions combined with a stubborn, often prideful and sometimes ignorant, refusal of honest communication.

The story I mentioned, called “The Hitchhiking Game”, brilliantly captures this disconnect, showing it extending beyond interpersonal relationships; I would almost go as far as calling the disconnect an epidemic—a disease of the human spirit—as false motives are iterated to the point where they become almost indistinguishable from the truth. A person’s life, love, and work become determined by external perceptions rather than their own thoughts and desires. If this doesn’t make any sense (and I can see that without perspective it might not), you should probably just go ahead and read the story.

But first, to give you a reference point, “The Hitchhiking Game” is about a working man and his younger girlfriend of a year as they take a vacation, their first significant time spent together free of work. When they initiate a game where the girl pretends to be hitchhiker and he the stranger who picks her up, their insecurities about each other, their relationship, and their own lives are given an indirect outlet, and subsequently the two begin to realize that they really are strangers to each other and in their lives. What follows is a passage from the story that I found particularly resonant—hopefully it will provide you with a picture of some of the aforementioned ideas:

There was nothing the young man missed in his life more than lightheartedness. The main road of his life was drawn with implacable precision: his job didn’t use up merely eight hours a day, it also infiltrated the remaining time with the compulsory boredom of meetings and home study, and, by means of the attentiveness of his countless male and female colleagues, it infiltrated the wretchedly little time he had left for his private life as well; this private life never remained secret and sometimes even became the subject of gossip and public discussion. Even a two week vacation didn’t give him a feeling of liberation and adventure; the gray shadow of precise planning lay even here. The scarcity of summer accommodations in our country had compelled him to book a room in the Tatras six months in advance, and since for that he needed a recommendation from his office, its omnipresent brain thus did not cease knowing about him for even an instant.

He had become reconciled to all this, yet all the same from time to time the terrible thought of the straight road would overcome him—a road along which he was being pursued, where he was visible to everyone, and from which he could not turn aside. At this moment that thought returned to him. Through an odd and brief conjunction of ideas the figurative road became identified with the real highway along which he was driving—and this led him suddenly to do a crazy thing.

“Where did you say you wanted to go?” he asked the girl.
“To Bystrica,” she replied.
“And what are you going to do there?”
“I have a date there.”
“Who with?”
“With a certain gentleman.”

The car was just coming to a large crossroads. The driver slowed down so as to read the road signs, then turned off to the right.

“What will happen if you don’t turn up for that date?”
“[It] would be your fault, and you would have to take care of me.”
“You obviously didn’t notice that I turned off in the direction of Nove Zamky.”
“Is that true? You’ve gone crazy!”
“Don’t worry! I’ll take care of you,” said the young man.

The game all at once went into a higher gear. The sports car was moving away not only from the imaginary goal of Bystrica, but also from the real goal, toward which it had been heading in the morning: the Tatras and the room that had been reserved. Fiction was suddenly making an assault on real life. The young man was moving away from himself and from the implacable straight road, from which he had never strayed until now.

“But you said you were going to the Tatras!” The girl was surprised.
“I'm going, miss, wherever I feel like going. I'm a free man, and I do what I want and what it please me to do.”

No More Excuses

The time has come: I'm going cold turkey. Not from an addictive substance, but in the places in my life where I make the most excuses.

Exercising.
Waking up.
Eating.
Working.

My falterings in these areas of my life keep me from being as productive and strong and healthy (and happy) as I want to be. So I'm instituting some immediate changes. But first...

Where did this come from?

David Blaine.

Yes, the magician. Trust me, I'm still a little surprised myself. Let me explain. I've never been a big fan of Blaine--in fact, for the most part I go with the view that he's lame and kitschy.

Then earlier today, I ran across this video via TED (if you don't know TED, check it out...I'm a bit addicted myself). In the video, David Blaine talks about his latest stunt: trying (and succeeding) to break the world record for holding one's breath under water. He went 17 minutes. 17. Minutes. While he isn't a very good speaker by any means, it's what he said that struck a chord with me.

When I've seen or read about about all of these stunts Blaine has pulled over the years, I've never once really thought about how much work and preparation goes into everything he does, but the amount of time and effort he puts into these acts is absolutely incredible. And even more so, it's inspiring. At one point in the speech, Blaine mentions he fasted for a week before one of his stunts, as if it were a footnote. Not eating anything for seven weeks, as if it were the easiest part.

And here I am, complaining about how I can't bring myself to eat healthier. Or get out of bed early. Or exercise when I want to. Or be as productive as I want to be in my work.

Starting to see where I'm coming from? Last month I wrote a list of resolutions--not necessarily New Years' resolutions, but really more just things I want to improve in myself and in my life this in general. I've found that my biggest problem in instituting some of these changes is discipline. I make excuses in so many different parts of my life, and I lack the discipline to make the tough changes. So what do I do? I keep making excuses.

I'm sick and tired of this process. I've taken a gradual approach in the past, but I feel it is not working right now. Thus, cold turkey. I'm throwing myself right into the fire. Either that or I will drag myself tooth and nail through the fire.

Discipline is the one thing I lack which keeps me from being productive--and happy--in my life. Over the course of my life to this point, I've created this mentality, this horrible, destructive mentality, that holds me back from doing the things I want to do and achieving what I want to achieve. It's not just one area of my life or another: it's a general, contagious mentality that extends to everything I do, in some way or another. And that mentality has to change.

These changes I'm going to institute, starting tomorrow, represent drastic overhauls in some of the areas where that mentality is the worst. Specifically, those mentioned in the beginning of the post: eating, waking up, exercising and working. I won't go into what I'm doing for each, but suffice to say it will not be pleasant and it will not be easy. At all. Hopefully, it will be the wake up call I need. Hopefully, working through these changes will help me to destroy this negative mentality that's been festering in me for so long.

This will help me learn greater discipline.
This greater discipline will help me to be more productive.
This productivity will help me to lead a healthier, happier life.

And isn't that what almost everyone wants? I know it's what I want. And I'm sick and tired of waiting. Of taking baby steps. No, it's time for to whip my ass into shape, it's time for drastic measures. Sure it'll be tough, but the easy road is rarely the one worth taking. I make excuses to take that easy road. But ask David Blaine if he's making excuses when he's fasting in small glass box above London for 44 days. I'm willing to bet he isn't.

Will there be distractions? Sure. And I will probably falter many times along the way. That's normal. The good thing with some distractions is you can eliminate them. Personally, I must learn to work without certain distractions before I can learn to work with them, so I intend to take away some of these distractions while I'm undertaking these life changes: Facebook, AIM, cable television. These are a few of the distractions I will deal without for a while, at least until I get to a point where I feel I can integrate them into my life without them creating further excuses.

It's gonna be painful and it's gonna suck a lot at first, but the reward is beyond measure.

Many of the TED videos are similarly motivational, and while the David Blaine one didn't single-handedly spur this response in me, I think it made me realize what I was doing wrong and what I could do about it. If you've got the time, check out the speech. My respect for David Blaine skyrocketed. Truly motivational. Truly inspiring...thank you David Blaine.

Get Yo' Shit Together, Washington!

Lately, for whatever reason, I’ve found myself becoming a lot more interested in US politics than I think I ever have before. Despite one of my “2010 resolutions” being to follow world and domestic news more closely, I feel I’ve been gravitating towards political awareness slowly for the past couple months now.

Two nights ago, for the first time that I can remember, I watched a State of the Union Address with great interest . The entire thing—even the Republican response and post-speech commentary (well, I was cooking during parts…but still, pretty much the whole speech…).

I guess it helps that I’m basically a Democrat pretending to be an independent and I’ve been an ardent Obama-supporter essentially since he became an Illinois Senator; regardless, over the past couple of years I’ve shied away from giving regular attention to the political arena due to my distaste for its polarizing, often hypocritical and wavering nature, and I readily recognize that Obama hasn’t exactly been a knock-out success during his first year in office—in fact, I believe he’s actually been incredibly disappointing.

Why is that? Well, I think one can attribute Obama’s less-than-stellar first quarter to a few things:


1. Obama has incredible rhetoric. Of course, I’ve known Obama is a great speaker for a while now, but it was apparent more than ever during the SotU address that he is a master spinster. This is good and bad: good because he can take any argument against him or his policy and spin and contort it as to make the criticizer look like a fool and an idiot, while at the same time making him appear to be a genius (the mark of a great debater); bad because when people break down and see past his fancy words, if there’s no evidence to back them up, he’s the one who looks like an idiot, spouting out empty statements. Last year Obama delivered a lot of big words—words that a lot of people, especially independents who voted for him, saw through very easily.


2. Those damn Republicans. Even though I cared nothing for politics when the last Democratic majority occupied Congress, I believe people when they say this is perhaps the most divided, bi-partisan Congress ever. Yes, I lean towards the left, but can open-minded right-wingers (an oxymoran?) really think the stubborn refusal of Republican representatives to participate in…well, anything, is not bad for everyone--liberals and conservatives alike? I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed such unbelievable naivety and childish behavior from a group of supposedly responsible adults, much less from the people that are supposed to help run the country. I mean damn. How fucking ignorant do you have to be to think this is in the best interest of anyone (but yourself)? And representing a state and a country should in theory be about as selfless as any job could be. I guess in this economy, even congressmen are worried about losing their jobs. Ironic isn’t it, how members of Congress believe the only way to keep their jobs in an election year is to not do them? Can any other job realistically make that claim? Just taking the opposite stance because your party dogma says you must is absolutely ridiculous. The Republican Party is starting to look an awful lot like the Catholic Church.


3. Lack of experience. I don’t think Obama completely knew what he was getting into when he stepped foot into the White House. And I’m not talking about the two wars or all of the other shit he’s inherited from the previous administration. I’m talking about the growing pains of dealing with a giant microscope hovering over his head held by the entire country and a historically stubborn Republican Party fighting his every action. To be fair though, I don’t think anyone—even the most seasoned of Washington vets—could have been completely prepared for this kind of onslaught.


Thankfully though, growing pains are apparently a pretty normal thing for newly elected presidents. Just ask Bill Clinton, who’s administration in now held in high regard (by most of the country). His first year…hell, his first term, I believe, was awful shaky, and he was held reasonable for the epic failure of his effort to tackle healthcare. In this respect, Obama might even have a heads up. Firstly, he has the advantage of history: eight years of the Clinton administration to draw from certainly helps, especially in regard to the healthcare debate. It appears, from his SotU address, that he will not give up or give in, which is a testament to his determination in face of mounting odds. Secondly, despite the lack of a 60-vote “filibuster-proof” majority in Congress, people still seem to forget Obama and the Democrats still have the greatest majority in decades. Yes, decades. It is quite refreshing that Obama seems to be adopting a “filibuster-be-damned, we’re gonna get shit done anyway” mentality.

And that is the kind of mentality that came through in his address the other night. While he again made a lot of promises and big statements, in which it remains to be seen to what degree he and Congress will follow through, the biggest thing I took out of his address was his refusal to back down in any regards. He was expected to take a more populist approach in order to help his image a bit and reconnect with a lot of the public, and that is very much what he did. However, in the face of this, Obama did not compromise his agenda: by issuing a challenge to the Republican Party to basically get off their high horse and get their hands dirty and by acknowledging that he will in fact not back down in the face of seemingly drastic set-backs to the healthcare plan, he firmly established that he will not be pushed around. I even found his historically uncharacteristic criticism of the Supreme Court verdict regarding campaign ad financing to be especially encouraging. One article I read made a good point in that he was not questioning the integrity of the court, so he had every right to criticize the decision. Separation of power does not mean the decisions of one branch cannot be brought into question by another, and Obama made that abundantly clear on Wednesday.

Of course, none of this matters if Obama doesn’t deliver. He made a lot of big promises the first time around, and the hopes of the nation (along with the added pressure from him being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize) set the bar very high. In most peoples’ minds—including mine—Obama did not deliver last year. However, it is encouraging to see that he hasn’t backed down. Unless he’s just incredibly talented at duping the American public over and over again with his words, I have hope that this year he will begin to deliver on some of those promises; this is the first time I’ve heard Obama mention specific steps in a significant speech to the public, which is certainly encouraging. Regardless, the trial and training period is over, if there is such a thing for a president. I believe a lot of his original supporters and even some of his skeptics have given him the benefit of the doubt this past year despite his shortcomings and the continuing stagnation of the economy, but now the margin for error is gone--especially with elections coming up this year and the loss of the filibuster-proof majority.

But Obama cannot do this alone, which he made quite clear: “To Democrats, Obama said ‘people expect us to solve problems, not run for the hills.’ To Republicans, he cautioned that ‘just saying no to everything may be good short-term politics, but it's not leadership.’” Today, he reiterated this directly to the GOP:


“The president told House Republicans that Americans don't ‘want us to focus on our job security. They want us to focus on their job security.


‘They didn't send us to Washington to fight each other in some sort of political field cage match to see who comes out alive. That's not what they want. They sent us to Washington to work together, to get things done and to solve the problems that they're grappling with every single day.’”


Damn straight. I need a job as bad as the next unlucky recent grad (if not worse than: how does $115k in student loans sound to you?). So it’s safe to say I’ll be keeping a close eye on Washington this year. Obama’s fantastic rhetoric has once again struck a chord with me and my hopes are raised greater than ever. Now let’s see those words put into action.

Impact of Art in Haiti

If you need some reaffirmation of the importance of art, check out this CNN article about the impact of the Quake on Haitian art.

Positive Vibes

Finally something new (and positive) to write about! A new blog series should keep things fresh and regular for a while, but I'll get into that in a minute.

First, I just want to get across my excitement about the feature documentary I'm currently developing--I'm fucking ecstatic. This may seem odd, but for the first time I truly feel like I want to make this documentary. I mean, I've been wanting to make it for a long time now, but for some reason the passion hasn't always been there.

However, today - even though I had a lot on my plate (like working on finding a job...) - I got a strong urge to work on my initial proposal for the documentary. Three hours later, the proposal was finished, and an amazing thing happened: as I walked home, I felt an incredible energy just flowing through me. I knew at that moment I really wanted to dedicate myself fully to this project.

Of course, the timing is a bit bad considering the poor state of my finances and my chronically frustrating work situation--oh how I'd love if this film was my job! Regardless, it's an amazing feeling just to know that the thing I want to focus on over the next three years is something I'm truly passionate about. If it wasn't there before, it's definitely there now.

Now on to that other bit of business...

I've been a fan of Tom Waits for a few years now, but anyone familiar with the artist (and the man) knows his discography (and he himself) can be a bit intimidating. I can thank my brother Craig and my friend Andrew for infusing me with "sonic-Waits", which lead me to download his entire discography a couple months ago. And to be honest, it's so intimidating that I've barely brushed the surface since that time.

While many with knowledge of Waits will point to a few seminal albums such as "Rain Dogs"and "Swordfishtrombones", I've realized recently that it's hard to completely appreciate him until you step back and look at his evolution as a musician and as a person.

Sooo...I've decided to undertake a musical odyssey into the world of Waits! My current knowledge of Tom Waits extends to a few albums ("Real Gone", "Alice", "Rain Dogs") and various scattered songs from here and there (thanks again to Craig and Andrew). However, I want to change this.

Over the next few months, I will listen to the entire Tom Waits discography in chronological order. Now, I'm not just talking about playing each album a couple times on my morning commute. No, I intend to delve into each album as I would with any new, highly anticipated CD I might buy (*/download*). And the best part...after I get through each album I'm going to report my thoughts here, on this very blog!

Why am I doing this? Well, I look at it as a kind of musical experiment. I feel like one of the big factors that scares a lot of people (including myself) away from certain artists is their prolific output and/or extensive catalog. "Best Of" compilations help with this, but they are only a small snapshot of the artist they attempt to accurately depict. Could you capture the essence of a city in a single photograph? Or twelve?

Van Morrison, Elvis Costello, Dennis Brown (!), Leonard Cohen...these are just a few of the artists I'm incredibly attracted to but have largely avoided delving into simply because of their incredible output (or in the case of Cohen, just not knowing where to start). Should that be an excuse though? I don't think so, and since Tom Waits tops everyone on this list for me, I intend to suck it up and run the gamete.

First up, 1973's "Closing Time"....

*Note: Due to the sheer epicness (not a word) and unpredictable time-table for this experiment (as opposed to the systematic approach of my "Top 25 Films of the Decade" series), the length between updates for this blog series may be anywhere from a few days to several weeks. Basically, don't hold your breath. Not to worry though (if there are actually people who regularly read this blog) - due to this irregularity I will still continue on with unrelated entries in the gaps between Tom Waits updates. In fact, watch out for that "Avatar" post I mentioned in my last entry. Fitting I think, considering Cameron's ode to the Smerfs just passed his own "Titanic" for the highest grossing film of all time ($1.84 billion)....in seven. fucking. weeks. Unbelievable. Titantic? Try 40.

Previews

I realize the blog has sort of bogged (I love that word) down over the past few weeks. The creative side of my brain tends to run in random, often inconvenient cycles, and this really hasn't corresponded well with my schedule.

That being said, I do have several new entries brewing, which I will hopefully post over the next couple of weeks (though I'll be quite busy I will make an effort to find some time).

In particular look out for the following:

-An entry about "Avatar" and the divides between filmmaker/non-filmmaker and between filmmakers themselves in regard to movie expectations and experience.

-An entry about how the creative process relates to knowledge and how that can create a never-ending slippery slope of creative discontent and lethargy (see: me).

-More "Mud"! (by now most of you have no idea what I'm talking about, but I intend to be more diligent about pursuing creative endeavors this year--drawing in particular)

Of course, if you know me (or have read any of my other promises in previous blog entries) then you have every reason to be skeptical. But thankfully this is, A. my blog so it doesn't matter because I don't have deadlines, and (more importantly) B. it's a new year and I'm making some big changes so...

...Look out for some good readin'!

Some recent thoughts

In no particular order:

• I wish I was really fucking good at pool
• My stubbornness is truly a gift and a curse--and that's apparent now more than ever
• It's amazing how much my life has been affected for the better by someone close to me once telling me that I wasn't challenging enough
• I really want to write a Spider Man script
• I wish Terry Gilliam would get his due
• I'm completely fascinated with the theory of Morphic Resonance (which I found out about from a comic book)
  
• If I could freely volunteer to be sent to Haiti to help I would go in a heartbeat
• I hate that it takes these catastrophic events for countries around the world to band together in a common effort to save and preserve lives, regardless of differences...
• ...but it gives me hope that so many have so quickly responded to this horrible event--if only that kind of resolve would stick when nature is at peace
• I'm reallllly looking forward to having a place of my own (soon I hope)
• I'm so confused about what I should be feeling in regard to some of the closest friendships
• My hair needs to grow faster
• I wish the world in Avatar was real just so I could fly on a fucking dragon
  
• Physical therapy just feels like I'm making my injury more obvious (and more painful)
• I'm finding that money is best spent on things that are immediately gratifying rather than personal possessions
• I feel like my heart is expiring; it's hard to believe I've gone this long without feeling anything. All these years of building walls is making them harder and harder to tear down. I even wonder if there's anything behind them anymore...or maybe I've just forgotten. Either way, I wish all the strength in the world to the girl who tries to bring them down a find out. She'll probably need it.
  
• I really want to date a hipster chick just once to see how ridiculous it is. (and so I can go to Dan Deacon concerts and not feel like I just walked into a cult ritual)
  

If you're wondering, my mind is usually this random.

(*I realize I've been writing about myself a lot lately, which is something I kind of hate doing a lot. Hopefully it's just a passing phase. Don't worry, after this I'll stop being narcissistic for a while. Thank god.)

World Issues

The five biggest problems in the world:

1. Justice: The idea that an appropriate response to violence, hate, and discrimination is more of the same filtered through guise of "justice". "Justice" is a word twisted into a positive ideology, but the concept of justice is simply a socially accepted means of discrimination against an individual or a group of individuals. To say that someone "deserves justice" is to acknowledge they have the privilege of a minority. There is no justice in physically fighting back against those that oppress us--it only causes more death, hated, and segregation. "An eye for an eye" can have no place in this world if we want to end discrimination and violence. We must change our response before we can bring an end to the cause.

2. Discrimination: The idea that difference indicates privilege; that anyone or any group of people are superior to anyone else, based on any factor. We are different, but we are all different. And it is this that makes us all equal. Perceptions of superiority based on any grounds spawn discrimination, which leads to hate and ultimately violence and death. This is where it begins, this is the heart of our destruction. Everyone must recognize the equality of all living things before any of the following problems can be brought to an end.

3. War/violence: Simply put, we need to stop hurting each other because we look different, act different, or have different ideologies and beliefs. We can disagree without taking violent measures. I like to think we've evolved beyond the point where killing each other makes any sense (though did it ever?). War and genocide are the ultimate extensions of discrimination: the only conceivable outcome is great loss of life. Thus, if justice and discrimination are brought an end, this point will be irrelevant.

4. Destruction of the environment: If we keep killing our planet, as we are doing, then it won't matter what else we do: we're fucked. Equality is recognizing all living things as equal, and this extends well beyond our own species. We must recognize the Earth as a living thing and treat it as such, or we will surely die. However, we cannot stop killing the planet if we continue to promote violence and death amongst ourselves. Once we stop killing each other, we can focus on not killing the living, breathing rock on which we all live and thrive.

5. Money: We assign more value to that which holds no explicit value than almost anything else. Money does not nourish, it does not heal, it does not provide shelter, and it does not please. The idea of currency--something which only holds non-spiritual, symbolic value--is probably the single most destructive invention of our time, aside from weapons. When a persons' survival is dictated by a currency, food, water, shelter, and pleasure become a function of this currency; and when a persons' survival becomes based on an object (or even a concept, in the case of capital) that holds no spiritual or explicit value, life loses an essential layer of purpose and meaning that drives all living things. Money does not directly lead to the destruction of life, but it does represent the next degree of separation. The uneven distribution of wealth creates quantifiable differences which lead to discrimination. However, if money was distributed evenly among every person, then what would be the need for currency in the first place?

*Btw, I don't know anything about that EU poster..I just used it to emphasize my point.
**OK, that picture wasn't working for me so I replaced it with something a little more lighthearted to balance out the post...much cuter

My plan for 2010

Things I will do this year, in order (sort of):


1. Get a full-time job. [By end of February]

2. Get a new place. [By end of March]

3. Write the treatment for the documentary. [By end of June]

4. Start paying off student loans. [July]

5. Launch 'Top Priority Productions' (unofficially). [July]

6. Write grant proposals for the doc. [By end of August]

7. Pay off credit cards. [By end of September]

8. Work work work and save some money. [October-December]

9. Quit my full-time job. [End of December]

10. Travel! [Beginning of 2011]


*Note: I probably shouldn't let prospective employers read this.

FINALLY....1 and 2.

Well, I officially suck at self-imposed deadlines of low importance (not that this list isn't important or anything). Anyway, after several weeks and inconsistent updates counting down from 25 to 3 on my top 25 films of the 00's list, here are my two favorite, amazing, incredible, beautiful, fucking SICK movies of the (now past) decade:

2. The Dark Knight (2008)- These two last films were without a doubt the hardest to order for me. Up until the day before I began posting, I actually had "The Dark Knight" at number 1. Regardless, these two babies are so close that I may as well have flipped a coin for placement in the top two spots on the list. Well...what can I say about "The Dark Knight"? I could write a 20-page essay about how amazing this movie is and why I love it so much. I'll admit, I'm a sucker for comic book movies, but "The Dark Knight" takes comic book movies to a whole other level--in fact, it would be a slight to the movie to label it as such. When it comes to "comic book movies", "The Dark Knight" is simply in a league of its own; its placement on this list should testify to that. Over the past few years with the rising popularity of the genre, comic book movies have been getting closer and closer to breaking the barrier between "great comic book movie" and just "great movie": "The Dark Knight" is without a doubt that breakthrough (sorry "Iron Man" fans, that one's good but doesn't even come close). Never before has a superhero story been made so real and timely and world-conscious without being cliche or cheesy or overwrought. Unlike the awkward terrorism/Middle East plug in "Iron Man", "The Dark Knight" does not force its themes: social upheaval and anarchy, public justice, the corruption of social structures, etc. What makes the story in the movie relate so well is how it is portrayed; the film is cast in shades of gray: there is no black and white here. While The Joker is certainly a horrific, immoral creature, "The Dark Knight" makes you really consider the ideology he spits out to the city of Gothem, Batman, and Harvey Dent. I've mentioned this before, but I'll reiterate it here: Christopher Nolan owes a lot to classic film noir, and "The Dark Knight" is a prime example of how he integrates elements of the genre into his films. I won't get into all of the parallels here, but suffice to say they work to give "The Dark Knight" a realness that is rarely present in the larger Hollywood pictures and most comic book movies. Never before have I seen a film that has succeeded on so many levels in the industry, from being a successful, money-raking Hollywood blockbuster to working as a cerebral, well-written and legitimately great film. I wish I could write more. "The Dark Knight" will be remembered for decades to come and I truly believe it will be one of the movies that defines this generation of filmmaking. Now as to why it didn't get even a nomination for best picture is simply beyond me...

1. No Country for Old Men (2007)- I never ever thought I could love a movie that essentially deals with fatalism as one of its main themes. Cormac McCarthy is an amazing, amazing writer, but his writing doesn't instill any hope or really anything positive at all (excepting maybe "The Road" but I haven't read it). It is bleak, unemotional, incredibly and unflatteringly descriptive, dark and, in many cases, fatalistic. If you're unfamiliar with fatalism, take a moment to browse the Wikipedia entry. Thankfully, when I watch movies I can readily set my own beliefs and morals aside in order to fully immerse myself, unbiased, in the film experience. I say this because I believe most people would not adjust well to this fatalistic ideology that emanates throughout "No Country for Old Men". This is a Coen Brothers movie, but at the same time, this is NOT a Coen Brothers movies. Joel and Ethen Coen have always had a very dark vision, but their movies are often satirical, with a humor that balances and acts as a counterweight to their often dark, bleak storylines. However, with "No Country for Old Men", they drop the humor and comedy altogether, leaving only the dark, chilling shell. Why is this good? Simply put, it perfectly suits the writing style and themes of Cormac McCarthy. It took me actually reading a McCarthy novel ("Blood Meridian") to realize just how amazing and pure the Coen's portrayal of his writing was. "No Country for Old Men" utilizes minimalism at its best: the score is present but bare, placing the focus on the sound mix; the visuals are stark and gorgeous, balancing wide-open, barren landscapes with tight, dark enclosed rooms; the dialogue is sparse, subtle and calculated, as is the plot. Visual and auditory details are enhanced, while plot and character are left hazy and open. The result is an incredibly cerebral and organic film experience that completely absorbs your mind into the movie and leaves you with a million questions. But these aren't the kind of questions that leave you going, "what the fuck? what just happened?" These are the kind of questions that make you want to watch this movie over and over and over and over and...you get the point. "No Country for Old Men" is at its core a pure cinematic experience. When I first saw it, the movie took a while to sink in, and when it did, I knew that I had just seen something great. Javier Bardem is incredible playing one of the greatest villains of the decade (and really of all time), but what really stands out to me is the gray area that surrounds his "villain". Is he really the villain, or is the movie actually about him and not Llewelyn? I have heard people question the ending, saying they like everything about the movie except the ending, but I believe Tommy Lee Jone's dream was really a perfect way to conclude the film. It took a lot of rumination on my part, which I won't go into here, but I think it fits accordingly with the overarching--yet subtly portrayed--themes of the movie, principally the clashing ideologies of fatalism and determinism (and I will say, determinism doesn't fare so well in comparison in "No Country"...). Any movie that can portray such a dark philosophy, almost romanticize a terrifying, horrible villain, be so minimalistic, end on such a bleak and vague note, and yet STILL be so critically acclaimed and commercially successful is a winner in my book. And I actually DID write an essay about this movie. Maybe that's what gives it the slight edge over "The Dark Knight", but either way, "No Country for Old Men" is in my opinion one of the greatest films of the decade and will almost certainly go down as one of the greatest films of all time (if it doesn't already fall into that category).

***

There you have it boys and girls: my top 25 films of the 00's. Feel free to give your two cents, I'm quite interested to hear what films other people would put on or at the top of their own lists. If I have related any false information regarding any of these movies, please let me know as well. The last thing I want to do is mislead people in regards to any of these films. And finally, let me just reiterate that these are MY favorite films of the (last) decade and are of course flexible in terms of their order (it took a longgg time and a lot of changes to come up with the current order). This list is sure to change in the future, but for now, I hope you've enjoyed what I came up with.

Here's a quick recap if you don't want to go back and read all the old entries:

25. Up (2009)
24. 21 Grams (2003)
23. Kill Bill 1/2 (2003/2004)
22. Brick (2005)
21. High Fidelity (2000)
20. 28 Days Later (2002)
19. Spirited Away (2001)
18. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
17. Children of Men (2006)
16. Gladiator (2000)
15. I'm Not There (2007)
14. Oldboy (2003)
13. O, Brother Where Art Thou? (2000)
12. The Prestige (2006)
11. There Will Be Blood (2007)
10. Half Nelson (2006)
9. Lost In Translation (2003)
8. Mulholland Drive (2001)
7. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)
6. Road to Perdition (2002)
5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
4. Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
3. City of God (2002)
2. The Dark Knight (2008)
1. No Country for Old Men (2007)

*btw, isn't it funny (and creepy) how my favorite two films have probably the two best villains of the decade?